Kate O’Neill:
Taking the First Steps
(Elite Athlete Blog - Entry #9)
Posted May 27th, 2008 at 2:30 PM by Kate O'Neill
Section: News & Results, Marathons, Track & Field, Elite Athlete Blogs, Kate O'Neill
Hi, this is my blog in TFS’s Elite Athlete Blog Series. Bookmark kateoneill.thefinalsprint.com and check back every other Monday for my latest entry as I strive for the 2008 Summer Olympics!
For the first few weeks after the Olympic Marathon Trials, I was not able to run at all, but I thought about running constantly. Worries about what I had done wrong filled my head and doubts made me question all of my decisions leading up to the race. As my knee improved and I progressed toward running again, those thoughts quickly changed from the past to the future. I kept wondering what those first few steps of running would feel like. The first run loomed over thoughts and I wanted to do everything I could do to make sure that it went well.
I have been running for 13 years. In an ideal world, all those years of experience would make the act of running instinctual. I would not have needed to waste energy with all these thoughts. Instead, I felt sick with worry that my feet would no longer remember how to support me, my arms would start flailing, and my knees would buckle forward into each other.
I do not remember the first time that I walked, but I obviously could not have put nearly as much thought into it. My mother tells me that my sister Laura started walking and I just sat there watching. Finally after a week of watching, I stood up and followed her lead. To commemorate the milestone, my parents later had both sets of our first baby shoes bronzed.
I cannot be sure what was going through my head during that week between Laura’s first steps and my first steps, but I doubt that I was thinking about bio-mechanics, foot strike, or posture. I probably just got tired of crawling. Or maybe I grew jealous that Laura was getting so much attention for her accomplishment and wanted everyone to turn and look at me instead. Those first few steps were probably more important than any other steps I would take throughout the rest of my life. (I certainly have not felt that any subsequent steps were worthy of bronzing a pair of shoes.) Despite their importance, I hadn’t had the brainpower to plan them down to the smallest detail.
Rather than constantly thinking and planning as I was doing now, I had let instinct guide me. One of my track coaches in college liked to tell our team that we were thinking too much. He wanted us just to have more trust in ourselves, make quick decisions, and then act on that decision without another thought.
When I finally did go for my first run, I tried to keep that advice in mind. Then I started to worry that thinking about his advice was actually going against the underlying message…. For the first few minutes, I just felt plain awkward. My instincts did eventually kick in, but they were the wrong kind of instincts. Rather than the instinct to put one foot in front of the other, I had the instinct to immediately start worrying. Was my right leg turning out too much when I landed? Was I carrying my arms to high? Were my hands crossing too far in front of me? Was I standing up straight enough? Was my left knee coming higher than my right knee? Most importantly, did I look as bad as I felt? As these thoughts were racing through my head, I started wondering what I could do to make them stop…. It became a never-ending flow of worrying about my form, followed by worrying about worrying…
These thoughts were not necessarily a bad thing. My right leg has always turned out a little bit more than my left leg when I land. Over time, this asymmetry in my form had probably caused the injury to my knee. Monitoring my form would play an important part in keeping me healthy. I’m still searching for a way to make that sort of monitoring instinctual. I want my body to sense when my form has deteriorated and automatically correct itself. Rather than looking down at my legs to see if they are doing an equivalent amount of work, I want to re-train my legs so that they know what is correct without receiving a signal from my brain. This has not happened yet, but I’m still working toward it. If I keep working toward that goal, I will hopefully have a performance worthy of bronzing a pair of racing flats.
- Kate
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Tags: biomechanics, bronzed baby shoes, challenges, childhood memories, elite athlete, elite athlete blog series, elite runner, foot strike, injuries, injury, kate oneil, kate oneill, knee, knee injury, laura oneill, marathon, mental preparation, mental training, motivation, olympic hopeful, parents, posture, running form, sister, tfs elite athlete blog series, the final sprint elite athlete blog series, thefinalsprint.com elite athlete blog series, track and field, u.s. olympic womens marathon trials
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May 27th, 2008 at 11:05 amHi Kate,
Just read your blog and noticed the reference to having your baby shoes bronzed. Did you know that your RUNNING shoes can be bronzed, too…and they would look terrific!
After any meaningful race, an athlete can send their shoes to us and we can make keepsakes they’ll treasure for a lifetime…using the same process we use on the baby shoes. And the price is remarkably reasonable.
Check it out…and tell your friends about it. They’ll thank you.
Bob
May 28th, 2008 at 8:18 amKate,
I know how you feel. Every time I start running again after an injury, I get really paranoid about every little thing - stride, arms, etc. Eventually I just try to relax and then it feels less awkward.
Steph
May 28th, 2008 at 3:02 pmMs. O’Neil,
Just wanted to send a note of encouragement - as a fellow runner who’s had knee problems, I can empathize - more importantly, I can empathize with the disappointment the trials must have been - I’d had plenty of disappointments along the way in teaching public school that make me question sometimes whether it’s worth it to keep teaching - and I guess if nothing else, disappointments can help us refocus on what’s important and what we love to do - thanks for the blogs and for the podcast a while back.
Sincerely,
May 31st, 2008 at 3:46 pmJason