Jon Rankin: To the Goddess of Victory (Letter #2)
(Elite Athlete Blog - Entry #7)
Posted February 27th, 2008 at 6:15 PM by Jon Rankin
Section: Motivation, Famous Quotes, Elite Athlete Blogs, Jon Rankin
Welcome to the official blog of rising U.S. track & field star
Jon Rankin; the inaugural member of TheFinalSprint.com’s
Elite Athlete Blog Series. Make sure to check back every other Wednesday for Jon’s latest entry.
Today I sit here in awe at how much life’s journey can be compared to that of a roller coaster ride. These last two weeks have been really down weeks for me. It’s not that my training is going poorly because I’m training very well; and it’s not because I had a ‘bad day’ at the USATF Cross Country National Championships a few weeks ago because I met my goal of finishing in the top-20 (I finished 20th place). Sometimes I just find my self a little lost or down emotionally for no reason at all. And it’s kind of weird because just a few weeks prior to last week and this week I was really happy and positive. I honestly can’t remember the last time I’ve felt this way.
Now, I don’t write about this to make anyone who happens to read this depressed. I write about this, honestly, to help myself get out of this funk. And I want others who sometimes feels really bummed out about things and they can’t figure out why to know that they aren’t alone.
Below I’ve written a second letter to a personified version of the word “victory.” It’s the idea of Victory or rather the idea of my dreams that I know I must refer to during times like these. Whenever I’ve felt lost I spend some time reflecting on my goals and my reasoning for doing what I do to find my way again:
Victory,
Where do I begin? I guess I should begin at the beginning. Today I’m a man in search of meaning. I feel as though I’ve lost my way. Even though I’ve not given up on my aspirations, today I find that I have doubts. Please tell me where these doubts stem from? Can you help me to remove my inhibitions so that I may feel confident about the path that I’ve chosen to walk? I know not whether it’s a good idea to ask such things of you, but if I don’t ask, how will I ever find The Answer? (Refer to blog entry #5.)
I guess I feel this way because I have a lot of Growing Up (refer to blog entry #6) left to do, but that cannot be such a bad thing. To have doubts, to sometimes be lost, to question everything is not only a considerably good thing, but also necessary. Constant reflection upon one’s life keeps one prepared to battle and overcome any unforeseeable obstacles. Without constant self-reflection I would be more lost than I feel in this moment. Honestly, it has been some time since I last thought about my journey and where I’m heading. I wonder if I’ve been blind to internal challenges and now they wreak havoc on my spirit because I left it unprotected.
Every night I look up into the sky and gaze in admiration at the numerous stars above. I know that in the black skies above I don’t have a place because I’m no Superstar. (Refer to blog entry #4.) This may be a fact, but this fact doesn’t discourage me. I will continue to aspire to grace that world, your world, with my effort until I achieve my aims or I can no longer try. I often see in the stars above much chaos, yet, it’s the type of chaos that reflects order and reason. Believing that my dreams and my place in the world belong somewhere amongst all of the chaos above brings order to my world. That is why my doubts will never fully inhibit me from taking action.
With all of these words written to you I conclude this letter with hope. I find that clarity has come over me as I’ve ventured to reflect upon my current mood because that’s all this really is—a mood. I know that I’m not lost, but I dare to state such things because that is how I often feel; and I know must confront those feelings whenever they arise. I believe that I will rise out of this state of mind to once again experience more positive thoughts. And even though I believe all of the previously stated things I believe most that I must be honest with you, Victory, because it’s you who I must win over. To hide these feelings would be to lie not only to myself, but most importantly to you.
So I say these seemingly incriminating things because I believe, if you cannot embrace me in all that I am, my every act will be an act of futility . . . .
I believe that sharing our experiences with each other helps us to endure the bad times as well as celebrate the good times. Here are three things that I like to do when I feel down or unmotivated:
- I first write down my thoughts on what is bothering me so that I can get it out in the open and confront the problem head on.
- I then write down positive thoughts and make those written words a daily mantra until I get out of the period of low motivation.
- Finally, in order to reflect upon what I’ve written, I pray.
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
- James 1:5
Thanks for Reading,
- Jon
Stay tuned for Jon’s next entry on Wednesday, March 12th!
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Tags: blog, cross country, doubt, elite athlete blog, elite athlete blog series, goals, james 1:5, jon rankin, prayer, professional running blog, quotes, quotes about prayer, thefinalsprint.com elite athlete blog series, track and field, USA cross country championships, victory
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The Final Sprint
I appreciate what you so eloquently wrote.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:38 am