Jon Rankin: The Answer
(Elite Athlete Blog - Entry #5)
Posted January 30th, 2008 at 4:52 PM by Jon Rankin
Section: News & Results, Track & Field, Elite Athlete Blogs, Jon Rankin
Welcome to the official blog of rising U.S. track & field star
Jon Rankin; the inaugural member of TheFinalSprint.com’s
Elite Athlete Blog Series. Make sure to check back every other Wednesday for Jon’s latest entry.
I have a head cold. Those are never fun. My mind is cloudy and my perspective jaded from the congestion that lingers at the center of my forehead. My throat is sore, my body is hot and cold at the same time and I sound funny when I talk.
Prior to the onslaught of this head cold I had been training really well. I was elated with my first competition of the year and I was training with a renewed vigor due to the outcome. Yet, as last week came to an end and I returned from Hamilton, Bermuda to San Diego to continue what was a great week of training I found myself dazed and confused. I was pushing my self pretty hard and it was catching up with me in spite of how fast I was running.
My coach (Joaquim Cruz) and I decided that I should take four days off to get over the cold and avoid being forced to take more time off than desired. With the extra time afforded to me by my cold I laid in bed most days reading books, watching DVDs and thinking about the present and my future. It was while I watched an interview with Dave Chapelle on Bravo’s TV series Inside the Actors Studio that an interesting thought was provoked. Dave was talking about being offered an extreme amount of money to continue to do The Chapelle Show and why he turned it down. His decision was telling of his character. The thing that stood out to me during this interview was something he said in his explanation for why he chooses not to live in Hollywood, why he bought a farm in his hometown and why he turned down the money:
“The world can’t tell you who you are. You got to figure out who you are and be that, for better or worse.”
The media and, I’m sure, many people that are in close association with Dave, probably criticized and questioned him for walking away from The Chappelle Show. The amazing thing about the whole situation is that he didn’t let the criticism or the money influence his will to remain true to who he is as a person. It’s his will that really made me stop the DVD and take a look at myself as an athlete. I began to wonder if I could display the same type of will to remain true to my self in the face of obscene obstacles.
So, how does this relate to my running and having a cold? Well, I tell you one thing: I’m obviously not famous like Dave Chappelle and I’ve yet to be offered an exorbitant amount of money for my skills as a comedian. But the interview did take my mind off my constantly runny nose so that I could reflect.
The above quote made me think about my integrity as a runner. My most recent competition has provided me with a great opportunity to reflect back upon my most recent performance and ask my self if I competed with integrity. As I laid in bed I thought about the points Dave Chappelle made during his interview and wondered whether or not I truly committed to my goals and plans made prior to the race. Was I willing to execute those plans regardless of any internal or external influences?
As I thought back to the night of January 18th I realize that the expectation and hope of a course record really influenced my mindset leading up to the race and my performance. There was so much excitement and anticipation about just the attempt at a new record that I began to question whether or not I could do it. I was overcome with feelings of anxiety and nerves. (See blog entry #4). And now that I think about it I wonder if I have an answer to the question posed in blog entry #4: Am I a Superstar? Or rather, am I ready to be one? If Dave Chappelle is right, the only place I’ll find an answer to that question is not from those who expect or hope for my success but from within my own heart.
I have had great hopes and dreams as a runner ever since the tender age of 15 when running chose me. I have found that my talent, however great or not so great it may be, has provided me with much confidence. So much so that I cannot help it but tell others that I hope to achieve great feats in the sport someday. Sometimes this has been a really inspiring and motivating trait because a performance will follow such boastful talking and instill confidence in those who were present to hear my ranting. And sometimes I have given more reason than desired to others to expect more of me than I’m ready to handle, but I don’t stop my ranting. Why? I guess it’s because I will always expect more of myself than others will. Or, maybe it’s just a bad habit and I’ve not been able to rid my self of it. Either way there’s expectation, and I’ll have to work very hard to do whatever I can to find myself among all of it.
I believe that in spite of not having a hugely successful career I’ve managed to continue to make progress because of constant self-reflection. I found “The Answer” to my reason for pursuing a professional athletic career and my ability to have one in a faith that I discovered existed deep within my heart. In order to find that “answer” I had to determine the right questions to ask myself. A few of those questions were:
“Why do I run?”
“Why do I want to be an Olympian?”
“Do I believe in my dreams?”
Upon finding the answers to those questions I truly began to excel. By asking these questions and finding answers to these questions I was able to confront my fears—fear of failure, fear of letting others down; and I was able to find a clearer vision for where I currently stood in my career and where I wanted to go. Having answered these questions truly gave me freedom because the knowledge I gained about who I am kept me from questioning my dreams and allowing others to influence me when times are most difficult.
I think that we can achieve a lot in spite of our fears. I don’t, however, believe that we can achieve all that we are fully capable if we don’t face those fears. The things we are afraid of or that inhibit us are just weaknesses waiting to be worked on and turned into strengths.
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Tags: 800m, blog, dave chapelle, elite athlete blog, elite athlete blog series, elite athlete bog series, Joaquim Cruz, jon rankin, professional running blog, thefinalsprint.com elite athlete blog series, track and field
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The Final Sprint
[…] Where do I begin? I guess I should begin at the beginning. Today I’m a man in search of meaning. I feel as though I’ve lost my way. Even though I’ve not given up on my aspirations, today I find that I have doubts. Please tell me where these doubts stem from? Can you help me to remove my inhibitions so that I may feel confident about the path that I’ve chosen to walk? I know not whether it’s a good idea to ask such things of you, but if I don’t ask, how will I ever find The Answer? (Refer to blog entry #5.) […]
February 27th, 2008 at 6:06 pm